Caregiving
A Caregiver’s Bill of Rights
I have the right:
- To take care of myself. This is not an act of selfishness. It will give me the capability of better taking care of the person I care
for.
- To seek help from others even though the person I care for may object. I recognize the limits of my own endurance and strength.
- To maintain facets of my own life that does not include the person I care for, just as I would if he or she were healthy. I know that
I do everything that I reasonably can for this person, and I have the right to do the same things just for myself.
- To get angry, be depressed, and express other difficult feelings occasionally.
- To reject any attempt by the person I care for (either conscious or unconscious) to manipulate me through guilt, anger, or depression.
- To receive consideration, affection, forgiveness, and acceptance for what I do from the person I care for as long as I offer the qualities
in return.
- To take pride in what I am accomplishing and to applaud the courage it has sometimes taken to meet the needs of the person I care for.
- To protect my individuality and my right to make a life for myself that will sustain me in the time when the person I care for no longer
needs my full-time help.
- To expect and demand that as new strides are made in finding resources to aid physically and mentally impaired older persons in our country,
similar strides will be made toward aiding and supporting caregivers.
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Managing Self-Care
Choose to take responsibility for your life. You are responsible for your personal well-being and for getting your needs
met.
Have realistic expectations. Learn all you can about your family member’s condition and be realistic about what you
can and cannot do.
Focus on what you can do. Be clear about what you can and cannot change. Foe example you cannot change another person’s
behavior, but you can control your response to that behavior.
Limit what you can do. Caring for someone takes time and energy. Decide which things are most important to you.
Communicate effectively with others. You cannot expect others to know what you want or need. Use positive communication
to express your needs and concerns.
Accept your feelings. The range of emotions you may experience are normal. Listen to your emotions, learn from your emotions,
and share your emotions.
Get help when needed. Know when you need help and how to find it. Reaching out for help, when needed, is a sign of personal
strength.
Set goals and work towards them. Be realistic and take steps toward achieving your goals. Even small changes make a significant
difference.
Watch for signs of depression. Seek professional help if you have any signs for two weeks.
Have a sense of humor. Laughter helps put things in a more positive perspective.
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Taking Care of the Caregiver
Caregivers spend so much time taking care of their care receiver, that they often put their own needs and feelings on hold. Caregiver burnout
is a reality and can strike the seemingly strongest person. In the long term environment it takes three professional shifts to do the work
of one caregiver at home alone!
Common expressed feelings and losses of caregivers:
- Loss of self and privacy
Every human being deserves the right to be themselves outside the family role, be it wife, husband, mother, father, etc. This is difficult
to achieve in a normal situation. It becomes impossible for the full time caregiver. (Sometimes caregivers are even followed to the toilet)
- Role change
Husbands have to learn to do laundry, shop and cook meals. Wives have to pay bills and balance cheque books. Sons and daughters (often raising
their own families) find themselves taking the parental role of mother or father.
- The burden of full responsibility
- Social Isolation
The world of the caregiver shrinks as opportunities to socialize become increasingly difficult.
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