Understanding the Cycle of Violence
Spousal abuse has very serious and long-lasting results for the victim, the children, the abuser and the community.
Women who are abused do not feel good about themselves. They live in fear of being beaten up or killed. They are often afraid that their children will be harmed by their abuser. Sometimes they think that it would be better to be dead, that it will end the pain and fear. Often they blame themselves for the abuse because their abuser and people in the community said that it was their fault.
People often learn their actions and ideas from their families. Many women stay in violent relationships, because they think it is the way that things are supposed to be. Their mothers were beaten by their fathers, or they have been abused themselves in their childhood.
Most men who abuse saw their father abusing their mother or were abused themselves when they were young. Studies show that boys who saw their mother being beaten up have a good chance to become an abuser when they grow up. Little girls have more chance to think violence is normal in a relationship.
What can be happening to women in each stage of the cycle of violence?
- Denial
- Honeymoon phase
- Tension builds
- Explosion and fighting
