Setting Goals
The purpose of counselling is to help women reach certain goals. The woman must know what she wants to achieve so that she can figure out what to do. What would she like to change about her situation? Goals give a sense of direction.
If the goal is clear it will be easier to plan how to reach the goal. Reaching a goal, even a small one, makes people feel better. It gives hope that things can be changed.
Focus on behaviour! A good goal involves behaviour. The woman will be doing something that will enable her to achieve what she wants.
For example:
Unclear goal: “I want to have a better relationship with my husband.”
Clear goal: “I want to be able to tell my husband when I’m upset without getting into an argument.”
Unclear goal: “When my husband and I are fighting I want to stop taking it out on my kids.”
Clear goal: “I want to learn about other ways of dealing with my frustration.”
Practice turning some unclear goals into clear ones:
Unclear goal: “I want to make our house to be a happier place.”
Clear goal: [a line for writing]
Unclear goal: “I’m so depressed since my husband left. I want to feel better.”
Clear goal: [line for writing]
When a goal is clear and specific, the woman will have a way of knowing whether the desired change has happened.
Goals must:
- be achievable;
- be something the woman can control; and,
- fit with her values and abilities.
What would be some examples of questions that can help women develop good goals?
“What do you want?”
“What do you need?”
“How would you like things to be?”
What other questions can you think of?
If a client has talked about several problems, you could ask something like:
“Of the things you’ve talked about, which one seems to be the most important one to work on right now?”