Gathering Information
The Elders say it is important to understand what is happening and why it is happening. Sometimes counsellors jump in too quickly with suggestions. It is important that you get enough information. You cannot make good suggestions, and the client cannot make good decisions, until you both have a clear picture of what is happening.
Help clients tell their stories by asking good questions. Gathering information will help you understand:
- the problem (what, when, who why, how long, etc.)
- the client’s coping skills and problem-solving methods (what they do, what works, what does not, where the gaps are);
- important feelings; and
- what the situation means to the client (for example, if the husband does not say anything when she tells him she is upset, the client takes that to mean he is not listening and does not care).
Good questions
There are two kinds of questions. One kind does not give you much information. This type is called a closed question because the client can give a short answer like yes or no. The door to more information is closed. The other kind of question encourages the client to talk more. It is called an open question because it opens the door for the client to explain more fully.
Examples:
| Closed questions | Open questions |
|---|---|
| “How many children do you have?” | “Tell me about your children?” |
| “Did it work?” | “What happened when you tried that?” |
| “Were you angry?” | “How did you feel?” |
Not-so-good questions
Some kinds of questions can make clients feel defensive or unsure. Or they can put your ideas in to the client’s mind, making them feel that you are expecting a certain answer.
Try not to ask “Why” questions because these can create negative feelings in a client:
“Why did you…?
“Why didn’t you…?
Instead, you could ask something like:
“Can you remember what was going through your mind at that point?
This kind of question helps the woman try to figure out why she did something, which can be important for both of you to understand.