Dealing with Difficult Residents

Many victims of violence have experienced severe trauma and this can sometimes lead to negative behaviour. Shelter workers sometimes have to cope with this negative behaviour. They can be respectful and compassionate while at the same time enforcing boundaries related to safety. By dealing with negative behaviour shelter workers can also teach women to use better coping skills.

Here are some sample guidelines adapted from the YWCA Alison McAteer House in Yellowknife.

Sample: Guidelines for Dealing with Difficult Clients

Dangerous behaviour

When behaviour is very dangerous and disturbing to other residents staff can take the decision (in collaboration with the supervisor) to ask the woman to leave.

If possible staff will explain to the resident that the behaviour is not acceptable. This can be done in a therapeutic and supportive way. Using empathy and an understanding manner may avoid further confrontation.

Intoxicated Residents

Women who have been traumatized will often attempt to cope by using alcohol and/or other drugs. We can hopefully influence and support other healthy coping skills but in the end, women have the authority to make their own decisions.

There are times when women will choose to consume alcohol during their stay. The following guidelines will assist in assessing appropriate action when alcohol consumption is affecting her family or the shelter.

residents who are drinking or using illicit drugs are not allowed in the shelter.
if alcohol is found in the shelter it is dumped down the staff sink and bottles are disposed of. The owner of the alcohol is asked to leave.
if staff see a resident showing intoxicated/drunken behaviour the resident will be asked to leave.
if the intoxicated behaviour is so severe the woman at risk of endangering herself and/or she refuses to leave the police will be called.
if returning from an evening out and you are concerned about the individual being intoxicated assess their sobriety through the intercom.
if a woman is exhibiting drunken behaviour she will not be allowed into the shelter.

Abuse of children

Sometimes women are abusive to their own children. In this case the following process is followed:

shelter staff speak to the resident privately to let them know that the behaviour is not appropriate and why.
the shelter worker will let them know that Social Services must be contacted. This is not done to “punish” the mother. But clearly, the parent needs additional support if she is behaving in this way towards her children.
the shelter worker will encourage the woman to call Social Services herself. If she refuses the staff will do so, staff will sit with her while she calls to ensure call is made..
attempt to keep the family at the shelter until the call to Social Services is placed.

Conflict

Conflict in any setting is normal and to be expected. When people are living together inside a shelter and with the intense stress that abused women are under, conflict can happen.

Shelter staff will have many chances to show women how to resolve conflict in a respectful and healthy way.

Some ways we can support all women in the shelter:

encourage the women to talk to each other.
staff can offer to act as a mediator.
we can teach women some basic boundary-setting and other assertiveness skills.
we can check in with women who are having many complaints to see how they are doing. We can support her, but stop her if she is complaining or gossiping about other people.

Hopefully, all of the woman will come away from this experience knowing that even when there is conflict, everyone has a right to be treated respectfully.

Theft

From time to time one resident will accuse another of stealing belongings. When this happens please follow the procedure below:

encourage the woman accusing to call the police.
when the police arrive have them meet with the woman. The police will decide whether to pursue charges. Sometimes they will ask the accused if they can search her room. As long as the woman agrees, they may do so. If she does not agree, they are not allowed to do so.
make sure you document any intervention in both client’s files (without using the name of the other in the file).
if nothing comes of the police intervention, have a meeting with each resident separately and assess the ability for the two of them to get together and discuss the issue
it may be safer for the accused resident to find alternative accommodations.