Introduction

How the Workshop Came to Be

The Strengths of Shelter Workers

What is Abuse?

Why Abuse is Happening in Inuit Society

Understanding the Cycle of Violence

Inuit People and Healing

How My Shelter Helps Healing

Counselling 101

The Purpose of Counselling

Building a Counselling Relationship

Confidentiality

Good Listening

Gathering Information

Setting Goals

Taking Action

Suicide Prevention

Children and Abuse

The Impact of Abuse on Children

What Children Need

Helping Children Express Their Feelings

Safety Plans for Children

Working in a Shelter

Creating Physical Safety

Emotional Self-Esteem

Building Self-Esteem

Caring for Yourself

Dealing with Difficult Residents

Dealing with Conflict at the Shelter

Shelter Procedures and Records

Building Links with the Community

References

The Impact of Abuse on Children

Any child who lives with violence or the threat of violence is a child in need of protection. Four possibilities exist:

1. A man who abuses his wife may also abuse his children.
2. A woman who is abused may take her anger and frustration out on her children.
3. Children may be hurt when they try to stop the violence or protect their mother.
4. Children who witness violence in their home may grow up to be abusive husbands or assaulted wives.

Even if children are not the direct target of violence, by being exposed to violence they suffer emotionally and can be neglected because their parents are not able to look after them properly.

When upset, children usually act out their distress rather than talk about it. Feelings of fear, anger, guilt, sadness, worry and confusion often get pushed down inside. Children know their parents are not able to deal with their own hurts. When heir parents are too tied up with their own problems, children are often forced to find other ways of expressing their feelings and getting the attention they need.

Any child can have these symptoms but children from violent homes sometimes are at risk of more severe symptoms of stress……

Preschoolers (birth to 5 years)

• physical complaints such as stomach-aches, headaches.
• sleep disturbances such as insomnia, fear of the dark, not wanting to go to bed.
• bed-wetting.
• excessive separation anxiety.
• whining, clinging, anxiety.
• failure to thrive.

School-age children (6 to 12 years)

• become seductive or manipulative as a way of reducing tension in the home.
• fear being abandoned.
• fear being killed or fear themselves killing someone else.
• fear their own anger and others’ anger.
• have eating problems, they each too much or too little.
• become distrustful of people.

Teenagers (13+ years)

Any teenager might get involved in self-destructive behaviour. But this becomes more acute for teenagers from a violent home.

• escape into drug or alcohol abuse.
• running away from home.
• escape into pregnancy or early marriage.
• suicidal thoughts and actions.
• criminal activities, such as drug-dealing, theft.

Children who witness violence in their home end up believing things like:

• it is okay for husbands to hit wives.
• violence is a way to win arguments.
• big people use their power to hurt other people.
• men are bullies who push women and children around.
• women cannot take care of themselves and their children.